We are living in complex times. Political upheaval, economic woes, globalization, energy crises, global warming, news media's dependence on Twitter - these are all multifaceted issues, and opinions vary about how best to address them. Personally, I think they can all be solved by casting them in simpler terms, much in the way my cats and I have solved the complex problem of inter-species communication:
If Republicans and Democrats, Israelis and Palestinians, Vegans and Barbeque Enthusiasts all sat down at a big table and broke their disagreements down into "Owie" and "Not Owie", they would resolve their differences in no time. I've already petitioned the government to adopt this new strategy, and I encourage you all, dear readers, to do so as well. When we're given the first collective Nobel Peace Prize in history for bringing about the end of all conflict everywhere, all I ask for is a "thank you" and free pizza, forever.
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