Gimme the Simple Life

Sometimes, I feel like I get a drawing together with just enough lines to make it work. Here is one of those:

This woman was sleeping somewhat uneasily on the subway. Maybe she realized I was drawing her? Maybe her stay-puff marshmallow coat was starting to stick to her in the overheated subway car (I'm least happy with the way her jacket came out)? I suppose I will never know. The light brush of consternation across her face remains a mystery.

Whenever someone catches me sketching him/her on the subway, it makes it difficult for me to continue. She gets self-conscious, I get self-conscious, and a queasy vibe of feigned nonchalance clouds the air between us: she knows I didn't want her to know I was sketching her, I know she doesn't want me to know that she knows, soon she knows that I know she doesn't want me to know she knows, and we slide down, down, inexorably down, into a fidgety spiral of tired sighs and awkward glances. I rush off the subway car one stop early just to escape the humiliation, and wallow in despair for pretty much the rest of the day.

And that's why I appreciate these simple drawings. By capturing someone quickly (and sometimes elegantly - at least I'd like to think so), I've dodged this dreadful bullet. I can leave the subway car at the right stop, and continue on my way without brooding over my embarrassment and the crushing disappointment at the resulting, inevitably terrible drawing.

Excuse me now while I go mope for an hour.

Next up: CAT COMICS! JOY!!!

Highway to Meow

Hello everyone! After a week of darkness, I have returned with a brand new post, IN COLOR. Cats are up to their shenanigans once more, in this new installment of 3-panel strips. These are actually dedicated to my brother, whose love for a certain band inspired the third strip.

Can cats play guitar? Experience has taught me the answer is yes.

With the help of my brother, I was recently able to get my hands back on the electric guitar I had when I was 14 (it was stashed at my parents' house in the suburbs, and he valiantly drove it and my oversized amp into Manhattan). However, for the past few days I've come home to hear a distinct electric hum fading out just as I open the door. When I pick up my guitar, it is tuned a few steps higher than usual, and I've even noticed some strange callouses on the tips of my cats' little forepaws. I also found the following lyrics crudely scrawled onto a piece of paper stuffed behind their litter box. Could it be they are practicing for their rock debut? Hopefully I can catch them in the act before they post something on YouTube account without my knowledge. Here is the song they wrote:

HIGHWAY TO MEOW

Lyrics by Solomon & Robin Choi

Shedding easy, shedding free

Season changes and I blow my hide

Tail is studding, urging me

To hump furniture in my prime

Don't need bathin', waste of time

Tell you something I would rather do:

Groom around, when I'm so inclined,

My cat-balls and my toe jam too

I'm on a Highway to Meow

Highway to Meow

I'm on a Highway to Meow

Highway to Meow

All nap time, no limits

I get drowsy when I'm on the ground

Bare my fore-claw - you can't clip it

Nobody's gonna trim me down!

Hackin' hairballs in your shoes

Squish around between your toes

Hey Mama! Please feed me!

Wet food 'till my big pooch grows

I'm on a Highway to Meow

Highway to Meow

I'm on a Highway to Meow

Highway (guitar slide)

I'm on a Highway to Meow (Highway to Meow)

I'm on a highway to Meo-ow! (Highway to Meow)

I'm on a highway to Meo-o-ow! (Highway to Meow)

I'm on a highway to Meow (Highway to Meow)

And I'm goin' meow

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaall the way

(guitar: meow-meow meow-meow meow-meow meow-meow meow)

On a Highway to Meow

Buildering

Hello dear readers. This week has been a bit on the insane side for me. Running, jumping, buildering. You know, the usual. As a result, my post for today will be uncomplicated, a sort of foil to my life at the moment.

I've been making a moderately successful effort to sketch more than people's faces these days. Though, ironically, the drawings I will likely post next week are very face-centric! Still, I liked the way this one came out, and wanted to share it with you all.

Hopefully viewing this simple drawing will have a calming effect on you, the way completing it had a calming effect on me. I feel so refreshed, so relaxed...I could just...fall asleep...right here...right at the location I'm posting from, on top of the needle of Empire State Building. Hey, I can see your house from here! All of your houses!

A Simple Comic for Complex Times

We are living in complex times. Political upheaval, economic woes, globalization, energy crises, global warming, news media's dependence on Twitter - these are all multifaceted issues, and opinions vary about how best to address them. Personally, I think they can all be solved by casting them in simpler terms, much in the way my cats and I have solved the complex problem of inter-species communication:

If Republicans and Democrats, Israelis and Palestinians, Vegans and Barbeque Enthusiasts all sat down at a big table and broke their disagreements down into "Owie" and "Not Owie", they would resolve their differences in no time. I've already petitioned the government to adopt this new strategy, and I encourage you all, dear readers, to do so as well. When we're given the first collective Nobel Peace Prize in history for bringing about the end of all conflict everywhere, all I ask for is a "thank you" and free pizza, forever.

The Spy Who Taxed Me

About two weeks ago, I experienced what many psychologists call a "Jason Bourne moment": I was tailed by a secret agent on the subway. She was wearing dark glasses, as secret agents are prone to do, and her hair looked somewhat wig-like - part of some masterful disguise, no doubt. Were it not for my uncanny perceptiveness and constant paranoia, I might not ever have noticed her.

See what I'm talking about? She was a spy, no question about it. But was what could she have been after? She was sitting in front of a poster which demanded, in the strictest of terms, that I DO MY TAXES (online, for free). Was this position strategic? Some kind of cryptic message, possibly even a direct warning? Was she CIA, FBI, KGB? Was she an agent of some shadow accounting firm, trying to threaten me away from free, online competitors? Maybe a plainclothes, for the IRS? Do they do that?

I've never been late on my taxes. Her intimidation meant nothing to me. And as my stop approached, I made my move.

We battled it out in a flurry of Jujitsu and Krav Maga, chopping and kicking in what I can only describe to you now, dear readers, as a Samba of Death. But when the doors opened on 42nd and 8th avenue, our lightning exchange ended in a draw (she was transferring for the Port Authority). Ultimately, I was unable to determine what her dastardly espionage was trying to uncover.

Be warned, my friends: despite my best efforts to subdue her, this woman is still out there, her cold reflective lenses obscuring the soulless pools of deceit that surely lie behind them. If you see her, turn the other way, go home, and make sure you do your taxes.

Cats...in COLOR

Do I have a treat for you all today! Not only have a posted multiple three-panel comics here, but I've posted TWO VERSIONS - one in black and white, and one...in color.

That's right, dear readers, like Dorothy touching down in the magical land of Oz, I have entered a new era of entertainment.

Version 1

Version 2

I'll be honest - I can't quite decide which version I like better. The first version has a certain charm and simplicity, but the second version has a bit more verve. As a purist, there's a part of me that's drawn to the stark black and white, but who can resist some colorful eye-candy?

If you're willing, please give me your thoughts in the comments - I would love to hear what you think.

One final note - about two weeks ago, I posted a comic about the lengths my cats would go to, to get their paws on some popcorn. Some of you have kindly pointed out that the second page of the comic would not load, and you were left with a terrible cliffhanger - how would it all end??? Fear not! I have fixed the technical issue. Click on this to access the post anew.

Short Cat Shenanigans

I've made a bunch of these three-panel comics over the past few days, but so as not to run out of material too quickly, I will be posting them piecemeal, rather than all at once. Here's the first one.

Disclaimer: I have never given coffee to either of my cats, nor would I ever allow them to enter into a position where they might even try some. It would be terrible for them!

That said, for two cats that are already very active - rolling, romping, leaping, pawing, and clawing for hours at a stretch - even the smallest amount of any mild stimulant would lead to total chaos in my apartment. I would leave work in the morning, suspecting nothing, and return to overturned bookshelves, shredded kibble bags, a raided refrigerator, and hundreds of dollars' worth of catnip charged to my credit card. Terrible in real life...but great in comics!

More cat shenanigans to follow, later this week!